Opting out of book club — politely
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Q: I am new to the area and have been making an effort to get out and meet new people. One woman I met invited me to join her book club. I went to the first meeting, and, while the discussion was lively, I found two of the women to be overbearing and just not my type. The woman I knew called me the next day to ask what I thought of the meeting, and I told her I enjoyed the discussion. (I was trying to be diplomatic.) She invited me back for this week's meeting. I attended, and it is clear that the two disagreeable women run the show. I want to opt out without hurting my new friend's feelings. What can I say?
A: This is easier than you think. No need to critique her book club friends. Instead, make plans to meet this woman out and about. At some point during the conversation, mention that you are trying lots of new things and thank her very much for inviting you to sample her book club. Go on to talk about some of the other new things you are doing. If she calls you about the book club again, politely decline the invitation while scheduling other time for the two of you to get together: "Suzie, thank you so much for the book club invitation. I am going to pass since I am still getting settled in here. Can you meet for coffee on Wednesday?"
Q: In the last few years, more and more, I see and hear people using RSVP as a noun and a verb, though my understanding is that it is a polite request, "Please respond." Yet I hear and read, "Please RSVP" (please respond please), "be sure to RSVP by (a date), "return the RSVP." I know languages change, but it seems strange to me to see this. In the past, I used RSVP on invitations to try to look a little with-it. Now, so as not to confuse anyone, I write "Please respond" in English. Maybe I am just shoveling against the tide and should adopt the new usages of RSVP before the dictionaries change. I meant that as a question. Do you give advice about this to brides, hosts, etc., or not bother?
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